I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
