therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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