I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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