I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
