why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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