I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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