i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
