Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
