So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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