New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
