Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's blow job season.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
