Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
