I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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