there's paper in my vomit.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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