Me too!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Two words: blizzard sex
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
