Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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