we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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