"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize