What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
should my penis look like a turkey
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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