You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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