She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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