on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
