Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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