k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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