if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize