so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
