I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize