let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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