Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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