I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
