Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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  (248): I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you? http://tfl.nu/mhei
  Replies (8) Good night (2135) Bad night (460)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"

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  (305): he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question" http://tfl.nu/300d
  Replies (11) Good night (749) Bad night (3756)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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  (605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q
  Replies (16) Good night (1109) Bad night (4288)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.

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  (425): Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me. http://tfl.nu/edgt
  Replies (20) Good night (1340) Bad night (4812)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took

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  (780): Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took http://tfl.nu/mwwf
  Replies (8) Good night (2289) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.

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  (360): I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/iiw2
  Replies (5) Good night (1598) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?

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  (425): Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy? http://tfl.nu/h26n
  Replies (10) Good night (1309) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.

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  (509): also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight. http://tfl.nu/qnxk
  Replies (10) Good night (907) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.

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  (402): He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help. http://tfl.nu/brln
  Replies (13) Good night (402) Bad night (1952)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.

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  (315): After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was. http://tfl.nu/s812
  Replies (6) Good night (986) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.

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  (732): Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age. http://tfl.nu/drps
  Replies (5) Good night (1243) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.

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  (978): I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency. http://tfl.nu/azpx
  Replies (7) Good night (1712) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.

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  (480): I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole. http://tfl.nu/g5bi
  Replies (7) Good night (320) Bad night (1273)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.

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  (314): So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better. http://tfl.nu/6bjm
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.

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  (304): I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body. http://tfl.nu/upxw
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (277)

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