You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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