Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  oh yeah... my b.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): i need a penis for penetration, you wont do. (1-248): oh yeah... my b. http://tfl.nu/ib6g
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship. http://tfl.nu/nd0o
  Replies (20) Good night (2692) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy. http://tfl.nu/bi3k
  Replies (11) Good night (1375) Bad night (4005) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  define virginity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying. (571): define virginity. http://tfl.nu/5by8
  Replies (17) Good night (5615) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me. http://tfl.nu/3m0w
  Replies (20) Good night (1363) Bad night (6569) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch. http://tfl.nu/cail
  Replies (51) Good night (987) Bad night (5478) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general. http://tfl.nu/8yi1
  Replies (9) Good night (4731) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Found your pants in the mailbox

  (646): View more from New York

  What were my pants doing in the mailbox?

  (516): View more from New York

  I don't know but there's postage on them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Found your pants in the mailbox (646): What were my pants doing in the mailbox? (516): I don't know but there's postage on them http://tfl.nu/6yt8
  Replies (36) Good night (5877) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number http://tfl.nu/syte
  Replies (14) Good night (2882) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too http://tfl.nu/6mfg
  Replies (7) Good night (2798) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin. http://tfl.nu/zjl9
  Replies (6) Good night (3375) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened. http://tfl.nu/llik
  Replies (19) Good night (1390) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think http://tfl.nu/g5tp
  Replies (14) Good night (1508) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them. http://tfl.nu/jpsq
  Replies (8) Good night (1937) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/zu28
  Replies (5) Good night (225) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt

Randomize