Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds? (1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 http://tfl.nu/vzb8
  Replies (109) Good night (40441) Bad night (2196)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  ok, come over...I have doritos

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home... (1-201): ok, come over...I have doritos http://tfl.nu/32vm
  Replies (8) Good night (1058) Bad night (1896)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  my secret santa just gave me a pregency test

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): my secret santa just gave me a pregency test http://tfl.nu/rgpa
  Replies (20) Good night (1274) Bad night (6355)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night http://tfl.nu/hkfs
  Replies (43) Good night (10138) Bad night (3062)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"? (1-954): Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards. http://tfl.nu/k91c
  Replies (72) Good night (10895) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca http://tfl.nu/k60q
  Replies (19) Good night (1384) Bad night (6953)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre. http://tfl.nu/5g13
  Replies (10) Good night (2972) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here. http://tfl.nu/2yn8
  Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (2809)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me http://tfl.nu/7cqx
  Replies (5) Good night (2429) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again http://tfl.nu/o3kd
  Replies (14) Good night (2161) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again http://tfl.nu/dbq2
  Replies (7) Good night (2056) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death. http://tfl.nu/ogc4
  Replies (9) Good night (1969) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry. http://tfl.nu/1un5
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change. http://tfl.nu/cbid
  Replies (3) Good night (783) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen http://tfl.nu/zqf6
  Replies (6) Good night (902) Bad night (446)

Randomize