Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story

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  (619): pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story http://tfl.nu/02n4
  Replies (12) Good night (2697) Bad night (578)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her

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  (610): She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her http://tfl.nu/saue
  Replies (21) Good night (5058) Bad night (1064)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  What is a GED?

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  (208): Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly (1-208): What is a GED? http://tfl.nu/qgi3
  Replies (47) Good night (1096) Bad night (10031)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.

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  (330): She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay. http://tfl.nu/hfdj
  Replies (19) Good night (10843) Bad night (1442)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.

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  (+44): Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman. http://tfl.nu/smcd
  Replies (2) Good night (3051) Bad night (847)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.

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  (228): Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street. http://tfl.nu/7nan
  Replies (4) Good night (2661) Bad night (996)
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  (760): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.

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  (760): I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant. http://tfl.nu/boqw
  Replies (11) Good night (4240) Bad night (940)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13

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  (781): after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13 http://tfl.nu/mex2
  Replies (7) Good night (1388) Bad night (2630)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.

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  (802): lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships. http://tfl.nu/002a
  Replies (10) Good night (2115) Bad night (1123)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.

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  (304): I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad. http://tfl.nu/mnuf
  Replies (4) Good night (1378) Bad night (790)
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  (858): View more from California

  Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.

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  (858): Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010. http://tfl.nu/9ghc
  Replies (1) Good night (975) Bad night (600)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death

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  (262): You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death http://tfl.nu/q3md
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (846)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.

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  (417): Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess. http://tfl.nu/qhcv
  Replies (6) Good night (664) Bad night (410)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job

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  (410): Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job http://tfl.nu/zapx
  Replies (3) Good night (490) Bad night (277)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.

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  (817): Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies. http://tfl.nu/m7wt
  Replies (1) Good night (189) Bad night (379)

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