I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.