no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.