the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol