U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
