i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
