My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
