can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize