that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
