Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
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I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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