I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
