You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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