It's just like the Real World with babies
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
