We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I want to fling myself into the sun
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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