Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
