I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
