Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
