...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
A bitchslap is in order.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
