She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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