I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
