PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize