this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
