im having a threesome with these popsicles
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
