Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
