I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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