can u get pink eye on your cock?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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