please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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