I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
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Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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