I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
