there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
