i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
