That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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