It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
